hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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