hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
