We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
