its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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