Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
