wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
