She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize