her vagine was all disorganized.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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