soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize