There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
