Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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