Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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