Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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