Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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