Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i love accidental penises.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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