He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
