first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
