i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
