You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i've created a new STD.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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