Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
