just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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