so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
