i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My penis needs a shock collar
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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