did you get engaged???
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
