Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
