he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
