She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
