People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
