In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i out mim tonsoeep
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