ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
there is glitter all over my balls
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
