You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
