if you like me you must not know who I am
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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