She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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