I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
