It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
