I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
