You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
