And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
