OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
