My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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