sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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