Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
