Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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