we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
