jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
