I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
