Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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