fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
