I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
