Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
