birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
