hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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