Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
