i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
