Buhtt sex?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
