what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
