girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
