Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
