Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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